Volume 18, Issue 5 - September/October 2014

Dr. of Tintology
by Mike Feldman

Tintin' Challenges

It’s not all luxury homes and condos that need window
tinting.

Here in tropical Florida we get calls every so often from folks who live in trailers (aka double-wides.) I’ll try to be politically correct here by pointing out that these potential clients all seem like very nice people and are usually long in years. 

Pleased with my marketing efforts to drive business of all types and armed with my trusty tape measurer and sample book filled with the best window film money can buy, I headed out for an estimate for a double-wide out in Lakeland. 

For you non-Florida folks, Lakeland is situated in the no man’s land between Orlando and Tampa. This “town” is best seen from a car window zipping down
I-4 at 75 mph.

This is the land for once hard-working retirees who now spend their golden years living inside a glorified tin box. Heading toward their neighborhood, the homes get smaller and the roads narrow. The turn-off for the trailer park is poorly identified with my GPS telling me to “make a U-turn when possible.” I finally arrive at my destination.

Their trailer was singled out with a spinning windmill stuck in a gravel rock pile front yard.

I’m on time and politely knock on the door (no doorbell in sight!).

Angry dogs bark like I’m a thief in the night; the trailer owner shouts at the dogs with a few curse words and in a few seconds

the door swings open and a husky gent smoking a cigarette, greets me.

I’m overpowered with the smell of dogs and something else which I am confident isn’t a bowl of gardenias.

The lady of the house is sitting in the TV room and makes no effort to welcome me. I seem to detect eye movement as she watches a quiz show on a Hi Def TV twice as big as anything in my house.

The husband explains their need.

He wants something that will stop the heat and give them privacy. He wants to coat windows in the hottest room and, even though the other room is only separated by hanging beads; I get the message and show them the darkest, shiniest window tinting known to man or beast.

The wife suddenly turns away from the TV and asks me how much this magical cure will cost her? I explain that I have to measure to figure out the amount of glass we will cover.

She tells me to “watch my step” because their dogs don’t go out to “do their business” but rather have been assigned their own designated room to do so! Seriously. So I tell them it might just be easier to measure from the outside.

I provide my estimate as they tell me that two more window tint companies are coming to give estimates after me.

I tell them they should choose whomever they think is giving them the best value and that my guys will wear booties when they install which we usually wear to protect the client’s carpets, etc. but this time we would to protect my installers’ shoes!

I waved goodbye and left.

They chose another window tint company that sold them a dark shiny film twice as expensive as my quote. When I asked why they told me that the other fella told them the shiny film wasn’t shiny and they believed him.

Watch your step …

WF

Mike Feldman is the president of Advanced Film Solutions in New Port Richey, Fla.

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